Downton AbFab

Apr 25

It was like a Legoland of sex after those concerts, darling.  Everybody was connected to someone else by something.

It was like a Legoland of sex after those concerts, darling.  Everybody was connected to someone else by something.

Apr 22

Sweetie, this is premature aging.  Therefore I can legitimately have it corrected. 

Sweetie, this is premature aging.  Therefore I can legitimately have it corrected. 

Apr 21

If you mean the time you woke me stoned out of your brain and slurred, “By the way, people have it off,” then yes you told me the facts of life.

If you mean the time you woke me stoned out of your brain and slurred, “By the way, people have it off,” then yes you told me the facts of life.

Apr 20

I’m talking to my friend, is that alright?  God, it’s like living with a chronically depressed budgerigar living with you.

I’m talking to my friend, is that alright?  God, it’s like living with a chronically depressed budgerigar living with you.

Apr 18

Here’s my list.  Oh hang on, she’s out, she screwed me.  Oh and he’s in, he screwed me.

Here’s my list.  Oh hang on, she’s out, she screwed me.  Oh and he’s in, he screwed me.

Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge?

Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge?

Mummy’s upset as well.  Give me a hug, darling.  Squish, squish.  Aww, squish, squish.  I can’t do that… tears thing you do.  Squish, squish.

Mummy’s upset as well.  Give me a hug, darling.  Squish, squish.  Aww, squish, squish.  I can’t do that… tears thing you do.  Squish, squish.

Apr 16

Get a haircut and a boiler suit so I don’t keep having to explain you to my friends.

Get a haircut and a boiler suit so I don’t keep having to explain you to my friends.

Apr 13

Bloody bastard asthmatic cab driver!

Bloody bastard asthmatic cab driver!

A mixed-race baby’s the finest accessory anyone in my position could have.  It’s the must-have of the season.  It’s the Chanel of babies!

A mixed-race baby’s the finest accessory anyone in my position could have.  It’s the must-have of the season.  It’s the Chanel of babies!